Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Sometimes i feel like ....

Sometimes i feel like wanting to run away from this home , to avoid my dad , but i know i'm gonna miss my mum & my siblings so much & i will feel that i am not responsible by running away leaving my mum & my siblings .

Sometimes i feel like wanna forgive my dad , but when i think of how he made me & my family suffer for the past few years , i feel like killing him instead , but i wont kill him too it's silly to kill him & make myself get into trouble .

Sometimes i wonder , why i was born to this family , to have such failer as my dad , who always makes me feel nervous , makes me feel stress , makes me feel ashame & sick of this home . But i thank god that i have a wonderful mum & siblings .

I think me & my family will be living better a lot without my dad . I had enough already , i cant take it anymore , i can cope those stress come from working , part time studying and lots of other things . But that's one thing i cannot cope , the stress from my dad . HE MAKES ME NERVOUS ALL TIMES , HE MAKES ME ANGRIER WHEN THE MOMENT I SAW HIM , HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE KILLING HIM WHEN I THINK OF HOW DID HE TREAT MY MUM BEFORE !

I REALLY HATE HIM SO MUCH , HE IS THE ONE THAT I HATE THE MOST IN THIS WORLD !

If affordable , i wish i could own my house with my partner & i will promise myself i will never ever have to live like this anymore . I wish i could buy another house for my mum & my siblings so that they can have a better lives too . Better than living with a guy like him who is jobless , who has mentally illness , who always extremely contol us all times .

It's not that i am cruel , it's just that i really cannot face him & take it anymore ...

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