A lot of people in this world say :" home sweet home " or " home is the best place than others " . Well it is true in fact . Home is the best place for you to rest your mind & soul . I wish my home will be home sweet home too but unluckily , thing just doesn go smoothly all times . Nothing is perfect in this world & nobody is perfect too in this world . We have to admit that .
Well , my family is pretty ok all the while . I'm pretty happy with my life in fact , i have job , i have a lovely partner , my best buddies with me, i have a great mum & my siblings too as well . I'm studying part time & i own a car at my age now . It's quite a good life already at my age & i really appreciate my life & my everything . But there's one thing that always troubles me & my mum , siblings . My dad ..
Ok , he is sick i know , he has mentally illness . We all have to understand , but he's the patient and we are the victims most of the time . Last week because of one small tiny little mistake , i forgotten to lock the gate . And things started to get screwed up . He started to lose control again cause lately he didn take medicine and he was drunk that time too . He started to argued with my mum at 1st but after that things getting worse . He started to act violence towards my mum again . I was so angry i wanted to stop everything but i know i couldn't do anything to fight so the only thing that i could do is to yell at him to stop this . Cause it's impossible to see our own mum has been bitten by someone . But end out he acted violence towards me too as well .
He was out of control that night , kept on yelling at me & my mum & kept on acting violence towards my mum ! And he kept on asking me to leave from this house & finally i have no choice but to drive out middle of the night out there to seek for collegue's help . Thank god i still have my collegue who is very understand about this matter and let me stay at her place for a night .
I promise myself that next time i will never never ever want to have this kind of family . I promise to take good care of it & i don wan to have a family that i m having right now . That's the only thing i can look forward too in future to set up my own family which is more peaceful & harmony . Cause it is a fact that he is my dad , i cannot do anything to change other's to be my dad .
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sometimes i feel like ....
Sometimes i feel like wanting to run away from this home , to avoid my dad , but i know i'm gonna miss my mum & my siblings so much & i will feel that i am not responsible by running away leaving my mum & my siblings .
Sometimes i feel like wanna forgive my dad , but when i think of how he made me & my family suffer for the past few years , i feel like killing him instead , but i wont kill him too it's silly to kill him & make myself get into trouble .
Sometimes i wonder , why i was born to this family , to have such failer as my dad , who always makes me feel nervous , makes me feel stress , makes me feel ashame & sick of this home . But i thank god that i have a wonderful mum & siblings .
I think me & my family will be living better a lot without my dad . I had enough already , i cant take it anymore , i can cope those stress come from working , part time studying and lots of other things . But that's one thing i cannot cope , the stress from my dad . HE MAKES ME NERVOUS ALL TIMES , HE MAKES ME ANGRIER WHEN THE MOMENT I SAW HIM , HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE KILLING HIM WHEN I THINK OF HOW DID HE TREAT MY MUM BEFORE !
I REALLY HATE HIM SO MUCH , HE IS THE ONE THAT I HATE THE MOST IN THIS WORLD !
If affordable , i wish i could own my house with my partner & i will promise myself i will never ever have to live like this anymore . I wish i could buy another house for my mum & my siblings so that they can have a better lives too . Better than living with a guy like him who is jobless , who has mentally illness , who always extremely contol us all times .
It's not that i am cruel , it's just that i really cannot face him & take it anymore ...
Sometimes i feel like wanna forgive my dad , but when i think of how he made me & my family suffer for the past few years , i feel like killing him instead , but i wont kill him too it's silly to kill him & make myself get into trouble .
Sometimes i wonder , why i was born to this family , to have such failer as my dad , who always makes me feel nervous , makes me feel stress , makes me feel ashame & sick of this home . But i thank god that i have a wonderful mum & siblings .
I think me & my family will be living better a lot without my dad . I had enough already , i cant take it anymore , i can cope those stress come from working , part time studying and lots of other things . But that's one thing i cannot cope , the stress from my dad . HE MAKES ME NERVOUS ALL TIMES , HE MAKES ME ANGRIER WHEN THE MOMENT I SAW HIM , HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE KILLING HIM WHEN I THINK OF HOW DID HE TREAT MY MUM BEFORE !
I REALLY HATE HIM SO MUCH , HE IS THE ONE THAT I HATE THE MOST IN THIS WORLD !
If affordable , i wish i could own my house with my partner & i will promise myself i will never ever have to live like this anymore . I wish i could buy another house for my mum & my siblings so that they can have a better lives too . Better than living with a guy like him who is jobless , who has mentally illness , who always extremely contol us all times .
It's not that i am cruel , it's just that i really cannot face him & take it anymore ...
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Acer aspire AS4736G-664G50MN
Well , i've bought a new notebook last week saturday , the 9th Jan 10 , that is Acer Aspire AS4736G with enduser price RM2399 from my dealer . The specs are nice , T6600 , 2.2Ghz , 4gb DDR2 800 , 500GB harddisk , with graphic card Nvidia GeForece G105M , with pre-install Window 7 Home premium . My dealer had helped me to install some other software also as well , and gave a lot of freebies too hehehe .
The reason i need to buy this notebook is to prepare for my coming assignments , cause last time during my 1st sem while i was doing my assignments , i have to borrow the notebook from my brother which he is studying the same college with me & our assignments due date is the same , when i need to borrow from him but he can't lend me to use his notebook as he needs to do his assignments too . So by force i have to buy a new notebook of my own & let my sisters to use also as well . Hehehehe ..
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Such a long time !
Wah , i didn even login into my blog & write something since last year Sept .. Guess i was really busy with my college life and working . Last year Oct & Nov busy with assignments , then early Dec i was busy with my exam then mid of Dec went to KL for Company team building . What a busy life , but i enjoyed this kind of life , cause at least we have something to do and we don't feel bored .
The old folk in my house nowadays his emotion is under control by the medicine that he is taking now but he did not follow the instruction of the doctor & simply take the medicine when he thinks that he needs it . I think over dos liao la , very hard to control the way he consume the medicine even mum tries to hide the medicine . For example , there's one medicine that he should only take once a day but he takes the medicine 3 times a day . Headache with him , specially my mum , i'm so pity her that she is the only one who support mostly for the whole family's daily needs , & my dad just only know how to eat , how to sleep & simply think of something that is out of space . Well , what to do , that's him . Sometimes i just treat that as if he's transparent . So that i don't feel stress that much , don't why his appearance will make me & my siblings so stress .
Miss my dear so much . He has been outstation in Bintulu for almost half a year since last year July . On off he did come back a while lo when there's holidays , but lately he is super duper busy with the project which is going to due soon so unable to come back here even Chrismas holiday & new year holiday . Sigh .. What to do , he has to work ma , no pain no gain , that's life . Luckily i have a batch of friends & lovely colleagues who accompany me for the meaningful festival seasons la . Hehehe .. I think i will only be only to meet him during the coming Chinese New Year lo ..
The old folk in my house nowadays his emotion is under control by the medicine that he is taking now but he did not follow the instruction of the doctor & simply take the medicine when he thinks that he needs it . I think over dos liao la , very hard to control the way he consume the medicine even mum tries to hide the medicine . For example , there's one medicine that he should only take once a day but he takes the medicine 3 times a day . Headache with him , specially my mum , i'm so pity her that she is the only one who support mostly for the whole family's daily needs , & my dad just only know how to eat , how to sleep & simply think of something that is out of space . Well , what to do , that's him . Sometimes i just treat that as if he's transparent . So that i don't feel stress that much , don't why his appearance will make me & my siblings so stress .
Miss my dear so much . He has been outstation in Bintulu for almost half a year since last year July . On off he did come back a while lo when there's holidays , but lately he is super duper busy with the project which is going to due soon so unable to come back here even Chrismas holiday & new year holiday . Sigh .. What to do , he has to work ma , no pain no gain , that's life . Luckily i have a batch of friends & lovely colleagues who accompany me for the meaningful festival seasons la . Hehehe .. I think i will only be only to meet him during the coming Chinese New Year lo ..
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